Diamond in the Rough
by YokoDomonZatch3000
Summary: Yu YuAladdin carbon copy. For the most part it's the same plot as Aladdin with the Yu Yu Hakusho Characters thrown in. Kurama is a poor boy from the streets who falls for the princess but must overcome the evil sorceror first. R&R.
1. Diamond in the Rough

Chapter 1: Diamond in the Rough

Kuwabara: (singing) Oh, I come from a land; from a far away place, where the caravan camels roam. Where it's flat and immense and the heat is intense. It's barbaric, but hey, it's home. When the winds from the east, and the suns from the west, and the sand in the glass is right. Come on down, stop on by, hop a carpet and fly to another Arabian Night.

Arabian Nights, like Arabian days, more often then not, are hotter than hot in a lot of good ways. Arabian Nights, 'neath Arabian Moons, a fool of his guard, could fall and fall hard out there on the dunes.

(Kuwabara's camel collapses from exhaustion. Kuwabara hops off and stares at audience.)

Kuwabara: Ah, salaam and good evening to you, worthy friend. Please, please come closer.

(Camera moves in and squishes Kuwabara's face.)

Kuwabara: Too close, a little too close. There. Welcome to Agrabah, city of mystery, of enchantment, and the finest merchandise this side of the river Jordan, on sale today. Come on down.

(Pulls string to unveil a souvenir stand.)

Kuwabara: (pulls out object) Look at this, yes; combination Hookah and coffee maker. It also makes Julian fries. It will not break (bangs against counter). It will not…(stops as top pops off.) it broke. Oh, look at this. I have never seen one these intact before. This is the famous Dead Sea Tupperware. Listen. (Lifts lid and makes raspberries with tongue.) Ah. Still good.

(Camera moves away)

Kuwabara: Wait don't go. I can see you're only interested in the exceptionally rare. I think that you will be most rewarded to consider this. (Pulls out old oil lamp). Do not be fooled by its commonplace appearance. Like so many things, it is not what is outside but what is inside that counts.

(Camera still moves away.)

Kuwabara: This is no ordinary lamp. It once changed the course of a young man's life. A young man who, like this lamp, was more than what he seemed. A diamond in the rough. Perhaps you would like to hear the tale. It begins on a dark night, where a dark man waits with a dark purpose.

(Horse pulls up and Sakyo hops off and faces younger Toguro.)

Younger Toguro: I hope you know, that you're late.

Sakyo: Many apologies, oh patient one.

Younger Toguro: Then I assume you have the artifact.

Sakyo: Had to slit some throats but, yeah, I got it.

(Sakyo takes out half a scarab. Younger Toguro reaches out hand but Sakyo recoils.)

Sakyo: Not so fast. What about the treasure you promised me.

(Elder Toguro, fed up, extends his bony fingers and snatches the scarab artifact from Sakyo's hands.)

Younger Toguro: Trust me when I say this Sakyo, you'll get what's coming to you.

Elder Toguro: Yeah, you'll get what's coming to you.

(Younger Toguro assembles the first scarab piece with the second hidden in his cloak. Scarab flits its wings and flies off. The Toguro brothers and Sakyo follow it. The two pieces split and sink into the sand. At the exact same moment the sand dune rises to form the mouth of a giant lion and the two scarab halves form its eyes.)

Younger Toguro: Finally, after all these years. The Cave of Wonders.

Elder Toguro: Yep, Cave of Wonders.

Sakyo: By Allah.

Younger Toguro: (grabbing Sakyo's collar) Now, remember our deal. You bring me the lamp and the rest is yours. Take what you wish, but the lamp is mine.

(Sakyo walks towards the cave but is halted by the Lion's voice.)

Cave: Who disturbs my slumber?

Sakyo: It is I, Sakyo, a humble thief.

Cave: Know this. Only one may enter here; one whose worth lies far within, the diamond in the rough.

(Sakyo looks back at the Toguro brothers)

Younger Toguro: What are you waiting for? Get moving.

(Sakyo no sooner takes one step inside and the cave's mouth shuts. The Toguro brothers stand there as the cave echoes its only instruction.)

Cave: Seek thee out the diamond in the rough.

Elder Toguro: (coughs and picks up scarab pieces.) I don't believe it. I just don't believe it. We're never gonna get a hold of that stupid lamp.

Younger Toguro: Patience, brother. Sakyo was obviously less than worthy.

Elder Toguro: (Sarcastically) Oh, there's a big surprise! That's incredible! I think I'm about to have a heart attack and die from not surprise! What are we gonna do? We got a big problem here. A big …

Younger Toguro: (covers his brother's mouth.) Yes. Only one may enter. I must find this one, this diamond in the rough.

To Be Continued.


	2. Riff Raff, Street Rat

Disclaimer: Hey. I know not many of you may read this fic considering it's almost an exact copy of Aladdin. However, for those of you who do read, tell your friends. I will change a few things. I do not own Aladdin or Yu Yu Hakusho only the idea of combing the two.

Chapter 2: Riff Raff, Street Rat

Head Guard: Stop thief!

(A boy with long red hair stops at the edge of a rooftop and grasps the loaf of bread he stole.)

Head Guard: I'll have your hands for a trophy, street rat.

Kurama: (looks down, then at the bread in his hands) All this for a loaf of bread. (Jumps) Whoa!

(Kurama slides down some clotheslines and lands in a pile of disheveled rags on the ground. He reaches out, without looking and catches his stolen loaf of bread.)

Guard: There he is. You won't get away so easy.

Kurama: You think that was easy.

(Kurama notices Keiko and her harem behind him laughing. The Guards show up at the end of the street.)

Head Guard: You two, over that way, and you follow me. We'll find him.

Kurama: (cloaks himself with a sheet from the ground and walks over to the harem) Morning ladies.

Keiko: Getting into trouble a little early today, aren't we Kurama?

Kurama: Trouble? No way. You're only in trouble if you get caught.

Head Guard: (Grabs Kurama's collar) Gotcha!

Kurama: I'm in trouble!

Head Guard: And this time…ugh.

(All of a sudden a short man with spiked hair wearing all black and a white headband lands on the Head Guard's head.)

Hiei: Sorry. Mind if I drop in?

Kurama: Your timing is impeccable, Hiei, as usual. Come on; let's get outta here.

(Kurama bumps into a guard.)

Kurama: (singing) Gotta keep one jump ahead of the breadline, one swing ahead of the sword. We steal only what we can't afford. That's everything. One jump ahead the lawmen, that's all and that's no joke. These guys don't appreciate we're broke.

Guards: Riff Raff, Street rat, Scoundrel, take that!

Kurama: Just a little snack, guys.

Guards: Rip them open, take it back guys.

Kurama: I can take a hint. Gotta face the facts, you're my only friend, Hiei.

Girls: Hey! Oh, it's sad, Kurama's hit the bottom. He's become a one-man rise in crime.

Mother: I'd blame parents except he hasn't got 'em.

Kurama: Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat, tell you all about it when I got the time. One jump ahead of the slowpokes, one skip ahead our doom. Next time gonna use a nom de plume.

Guards: There he is.

Kurama: One jump ahead the hit men, one hit ahead of the flock. I think we'll take a stroll around the block.

Man: Stop thief!

Merchant: Vandals.

Kurama: Hiei!

Woman: Scandal.

Kurama: (surrounded by guards) Let's not be too hasty.

Woman: (comes up and grabs Kurama) Still I think he's rather tasty.

Kurama: Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat. Otherwise we'd get along.

Guards: Wrong!

Kurama: Gotta keep one jump ahead of the hoof beats, one hop ahead of the hump, one trick ahead of disaster, they're quick but we're much faster. Here goes (grabs a carpet) better throw our hand in. Wish us happy landing. All we gotta do is jump.

(Guards fall out the window after them and land in a manure pile. A little way off in another alley, Kurama and Hiei land unharmed.)

Kurama: And now esteemed effendi, we feast. All right.

(Kurama is about to eat when he notices two orphans digging throw the trash to find food.)

Kurama: (sighs and gets up)

Hiei: Kurama, you can't be serious. We haven't eaten in three days.

Kurama: I know. (Walks over and hands bread to the kids.)

(Hiei later follows suit and finds Kurama standing near the street. A prince has just arrived in town.)

Peasant: On his way to the palace I suppose.

Merchant: Another suitor for the princess.

Man: I've heard that he is called Mr. Sensui.

(Kurama notices the orphans ran into the street and stop Sensui in his tracks. Sensui pulls out a whip)

Sensui: Out of my way, you little brats.

Kurama: Rose Whip! (Catches Sensui's whip before it hits the kids.) If I were as rich as you I could afford some manners. (Throws Sensui's whip back in Sensui's face.)

Sensui: I'll teach you some manners. (Knocks Kurama and Hiei into the dung on the ground. The crowd laughs.)

Hiei: Look at that, Kurama. It isn't everyday you see one jackass ride the other.

Crowd: Whoa!

Sensui: You are worthless street rats. You were born street rats. You'll die street rats and only your fleas will mourn you.

(Kurama, now officially pissed off, dashes in Sensui's direction. The doors to the palace courtyard close.)

Kurama: We're not worthless. And we don't have fleas. Come on, Hiei. Let's go home.

(Kurama walks away with Hiei at his heels.)

Kurama: (singing) Riff Raff

Hiei: Street Rat

Kurama: I don't buy that.

Hiei: If only they'd look closer.

Kurama: Would they see two poor boys, no siree?

Hiei: They'd find out…

Kurama: There's so much more…

Both: To me.

(Hiei crawls into bed and falls asleep almost instantly. Kurama lingers and stares at the place through the window.)

Kurama: Someday, Hiei, things are going to change. We'll be rich, live in a palace, and never have any problems at all. (Falls asleep)

To Be Continued…


	3. A Fiendish Plot

Chapter 3: A Fiendish Plot

(Morning at the Palace. Mr. Sensui walks in, quite enraged.)

Sensui: I have never been so insulted!

Koenma: (Concerned) Mr. Sensui, you're not leaving so soon, are you?

Sensui: Good luck getting rid of her.

Koenma: (Now Mad) Botan.

(Koenma walks into the courtyard and is suddenly stopped by a tiger, holding a shred of polka dotted underwear in her mouth.)

Koenma: For heavens sake, Shizuru, give me that. So this is why Mr. Sensui ran out in a huff.

Botan: Oh Father, Shizuru was just playing with him. Weren't you?

Koenma: (Gives Botan a nasty look.) Dearest, you've got to stop rejecting ever suitor who comes knocking on our door. The law says you must marry a prince by your next birthday.

Botan: That law is wrong.

Koenma: You only have three more days.

Botan: Father, I thought we went through this. If I do marry someone, it's going to be for love.

Koenma: I just want to be sure you have someone to take care of you. I won't be here forever.

Botan: Just try to understand. I've never done a thing on my own. I've never had any other human friends. I've never even seen the city from outside these walls.

Koenma: That's because you're the princess.

Botan: Screw being a princess then!

(Koenma, now enraged, storms back into the palace.)

Koenma: I don't see where she gets it from. Her mother wasn't nearly so picky.

(A shadow overlooks Koenma as a mysterious figures steps forward.)

Koenma: (Startled) Oh, Toguro. My most trusted advisor. I am in desperate need of your help.

Younger Toguro: My life is but to serve you, my Lord.

Koenma: It's this suitor business. Botan refuses to choose a husband. I'm at my wits end.

Elder Toguro: (In the form of a parrot to disguise himself.) Raack! Wits end!

Koenma: (pulls out a cracker) Have a cracker, Pretty Polly.

Elder Toguro: (Chokes on the cracker.)

Younger Toguro: (Laughs) You certainly are kind to dumb animals, Your highness. Now maybe I can find some solution to this unfortunate circumstance.

Koenma: If any one can help, it's you.

Younger Toguro: However, I would require the use of your ring.

Koenma: The royal ring? But...It's been in my family for years.

Younger Toguro: If a suitor is to be find, the ring is a necessity.

Koenma: Well...okay.

Younger Toguro: You are indeed, most gracious, my Lord. Now don't worry. I'll fix everything.

(Toguro brothers walk away from Koenma: Elder Toguro spits out the cracker.)

Elder Toguro: That's it! I can't take it anymore! If I gotta choke down on one more of those moldy, disgusting crackers, Bam! Crack!

Younger Toguro: Calm down, my brother. Soon I will be sultan not that imbecile.

Elder Toguro: And then, I stuff the crackers down his throat. Ha Ha!

(Door Closes behind the brothers.)

(Botan, dressed in a cloak to hide herself sneaks towards the back wall. Shizuru tugs on her pants.)

Botan: I'm sorry, Shizuru. But I can't stick around this damn place and have my life dictated to me. I'll miss you.

(Botan, with assitance from Shizuru, scales the back wall and looks down at her life time friend.)

Botan: Good Bye.

(TBC)


	4. A Chance Meeting

Chapter 4: Chance Encounter

(Marketplace of Agrabah, early in the morning)

Kurama: (Looks down from the top of a melon vendor) Psst. Hey Yusuke!

Yusuke: Oh, Kurama, Hiei, I was wondering when you two would show up. Two of the best melons, right off the cart.

Kurama: Thanks. (Pulls himself up.) Okay my friend. Breakfast is served.

(Kurama and Hiei go to work on their melons. Botan starts walking down the street. Kurama happens to get a look at her.)

Kurama: Wow.

Hiei: Hm? (Looks around and while Kurama isn't looking, swipes half of Kurama's melon.)

Botan: (Spots a little kid reaching for an apple on a cart.) Oh, you must be hungry. (grabs apple.) Here you go.

Merchant: You better be planning to pay for that.

Botan: Pay?

Merchant: (Grabs Botan's wrist) No one steals from my cart!

Botan: Please, if you let me go I can get some money from the sultan.

Merchant: Do you know what the penalty is for stealing! (Pulls out a sword.)

Botan: NO! No, please!

Kurama: (Grabs the merchants wrist.) Oh, thank you, kind sir. I'm so glad you found her. (Turns to Botan) I've been worried sick about you!

Botan: (Whispering) What are you doing?

Kurama: Just play along.

Merchant: You...uh...know this girl?

Kurama: (Sighs) Sadly yes. She's my sister. (quietly) She's a little crazy.

Botan: (scoffs)

Merchant: She said she knew the sultan.

Kurama: (laughs and points to Hiei.) She thinks the midget is the sultan.

Botan: (catching on) Oh, wise sultan, how may I serve.

Hiei: That won't be necessary thank you. (pats Botan on the head.)

Kurama: (Shakes his head) Tragic isn't it. Well, no harm done. (Takes Botan's hand) Now come along, sis. Time to go see the doctor.

Botan: (Looks at a nearby camel) Oh, hello doctor. How are you, today?

Kurama: No, no, not that one. Come on, Sultan.

Hiei: Coming. (Drops money he had stolen from the bystanders and runs.)

(Elder Toguro runs on a giant wheel to generate electricity)

Elder Toguro: (Panting) With all due respect...oh foulest of brothers...couldn't we just wait...for a real storm.

Younger Toguro: (Places ring in proper place) Save your breath, brother. Faster.

Elder Toguro: Yes, Oh mighty evil one. (Pants even harder)

Younger Toguro: Part sands of Time. Reveal to me the one who can enter the cave. (Kurama's image appears in an hourglass) Yes, Yes. There he is. My diamond in the rough.

Elder Toguro: That's him. That's the clown we've been waiting Foooooooooor! (Slips and gets caught in the gears.)

Younger Toguro: Let's have Karasu and Bui extend him an invitation to the palace. Shall we?

Elder Toguro: (Hits the wall, singed to death.) Swell...(Coughs; hits the floor.)

Younger Toguro: (Laughs maniacally)

Kurama: Come on, this way.

Botan: I want to thank you for stopping that man.

Kurama: Forget it. So this is your fist time in the marketplace, huh?

(Kurama launches his rose whip over an expanse between two buildings and swung across)

Botan: Is it that obvious?

Kurama: Well...(looks at her slyly) you do kinda stand out.

Botan: (Blushes)

Kurama: (snapping out of his daze) I mean I don't think you realize how dangerous Agrabah can be.

Botan: (grabs rope on other building and swings across.) I'm a fast learner.

(Kurama and Hiei stare at Botan)

Kurama: (gets up and walks over to Botan.) Come on. Not much further.

(Enter an old building)

Kurama: Careful...watch your head there.

Botan: This is where you live?

Kurama: Yep. Just me and Hiei. Come and go as we please.

Botan: Sounds fabulous.

Kurama: Hell, it ain't much. But...(pulls back curtains to view the palace) it's got a great view.

Botan: Oh, (disappointed) the palace. It's wonderful.

Kurama: I wonder what it would be like to live there. Have servants, and valets.

Botan: Yeah, people who tell you where to go and how to dress.

Kurama: Better than here. Always scraping for food and ducking the guards.

Botan: You're not free to make your own choices.

Kurama: You just feel so...

Botan: You're just...

Both: Trapped!

(Kurama and Botan look at each other and smile.)

Kurama: (Hands Botan an apple) So where are you from?

Botan: Doesn't matter; I ran away and I am not going back.

Kurama: Really? How come?

Botan: My father's forcing me to get married.

Kurama: Gee. That's aweful.

(Hiei is about to swipe an apple in Botan's hand.)

Kurama: (Noticing this.) Hiei!

Hiei: (moves over and whispers in Kurama's ear.)

Botan: What?

Kurama: Hiei says, "That's not fair."

Hiei: (Glares at Kurama.)

Botan: Oh, really? And does Hiei have anything else to say?

Kurama: Well...he wishes there was something he could do to help. (Sits down next to Botan)

Hiei: Oh god.(Sticks Finger in his mouth.)

Botan: (Leaning closer to Kurama) Tell him that's very...sweet.

(Kurama and Botan are about to kiss when there is a loud crash at the door.)

Guard: Here you are.

Hiei: Shit!

Kurama and Botan: They're after me. They're after you?

Botan: My father must have sent them.

Kurama: (Looking out the window) Do you trust me?

Botan: What?

Kurama: Do you trust me? (extends his hand.)

Botan: (hesitantly) Yes. (takes Kurama's hand)

Kurama: Then Jump!

(Kurama and Botan jump out the window.)

Kurama: Run!

(Kurama Runs straight into Bui.)

Bui: So you are the street rat.

Hiei: Geronimo!

(Hiei lands on Bui's head. Kurama, punches him in the stomach.)

Kurama: Let's move!

(Kurama meets up with Karasu.)

Kurama: Other way.

(Bui knocks Hiei out)

Bui: (Grabs Kurama's collar) It's the dungeon for you, boy.

Botan: Let him go.

Karasu: Look at that. A street mouse. (Knocks Botan away)

Botan: Unhand him. (Removes her hood) By order of the Princess.

Karasu and Bui: (Gasp and bow.) Princess Botan.

Kurama: The princess?

Karasu: What are you doing outside of the palace? And with this street rat?

Botan: That is not your concern. Do what I say. Let him go.

Bui: We would, princess. Except our orders are from Master Toguro. You'll have to take it up with him.

Botan: Oh, I will.

(TBC)


	5. Cave Of Wonders

Disclaimer: Hola. Enjoying yourselves so far. This next chapter is going to introduce a big snag in Toguro's plan. Stay informed to find out what it is. Note: I do not own Aladdin or Yu Yu Hakusho. Please don't sue me.

Chapter 5: Cave of Wonders

(Younger Toguro slides out from behind a secret door)

Botan: Toguro!

Younger Toguro: (Starteld) Oh, princess. (slams door on his brother, still in parrot form)

Elder Toguro: Gack! (whispering) Brother, I'm stuck.

Younger Toguro: (ignoring his brother) How may I be of service to you, princess.

Botan: Karasu and Bui just took a boy from the market, on your orders!

Younger Toguro: Your father has charged me with keeping peace in Agrabah. The boy was a criminal.

Botan: What was his crime.

Elder Toguro: (tugging at his brother's cape, whispering) I can't breathe. Brother!

Younger Toguro: (still ignoring his brother) Why...kidnapping the princess, of course.

Elder Toguro: (whispering, nearly out of breath) Brother...if you could just...(Younger Toguro kicks him back through the door) Aaaaaaaah! That hurt!

Botan: He didn't kidnap me. I ran away.

Younger Toguro: Oh, dear. Oh how frightfully upsetting. Had I but known.

Botan: What do you mean?

Younger Toguro: Sadly, the boy's sentence has already been carried out.

Botan: What sentence?

Younger Toguro: Death. By beheading.

Botan: (gasps and covers her mouth in shock)

Younger Toguro: I am exceedingly sorry princess.

Botan: How could you? (runs out the door crying)

Elder Toguro: (Flutters in, gasping for air.) Haaa! (regaining composier) So, how did it go?

Younger Toguro: (smiling) I think she took it...rather well.

(Botan is crying in the courtyard when Shizuru walks up to comfort her.)

Botan: (hugging Shizuru) It's all my fault. I didn't even know his name.

(Kurama sits in the dungeon)

Kurama: (talking to himself) You ass! She was the princess. I can't believe I said all that. I must have sounded so stupid to her.

Hiei: Uh, excuse me. Am I interrupting?

Kurama: Hiei, down here. Help me outta these.

Hiei: Why should I? All you did today was swoon over that girl. I thought I was going to be sick.

Kurama: Hey she was worth it.

Hiei: Oh, come now, Kurama. Don't start that shit again.

Kurama: Don't worry. I'll never see her again. I'm a street rat remember. And there's a law. She has to marry a prince. (Hiei manages to pick the lock and Kurama massages his wrists) She deserves a prince. (Sighs) I'm a fool.

Old Man:You're only a fool if you give up, boy.

Kurama: Who are you?

Old Man: A lowly prisoner, like yourself. But together, perhaps more.

Kurama: I'm listening.

Old Man: There is a cave boy. A cave of wonders. Filled with treasures beyond your wildest dreams. Treasure enough to impress even your princess, I'd wager.

Elder Toguro: (wriggles under his brother's disguise) Hey, can you hurry it up? I'm dying in here.

Kurama: But the law says that only a prince can...

Younger Toguro: You've heard of the golden rule right. Whoever has the gold makes the rules.

Kurama: So why would you share all this treasure with me?

Younger Toguro: I need a young pair of legs and a strong back to go in after it.

Kurama: One problem. It's out there. We're in here.

Younger Toguro: Ah, ah, ah. Things aren't always what they seem.

(uses cane to push a block out of the way to reveal an exit)

Younger Toguro: So...do we...have a deal?

(Outside Cave of Wonders)

Cave: Who disturbs my slumber?

Kurama: It is I, Kurama.

Cave: Proceed. Touch nothing but the lamp! (Opens mouth.)

Younger Toguro: Remember boy. First fetch me the lamp, and then you will have your reward.

Kurama: Come on, Hiei.

(Kurama and Hiei enter a room filled with gold.)

Kurama: Damn. Just a handful of this would make me richer than the sultan.

(Hiei dashes for a pile of gold)

Kurama: Hiei, no!

Hiei: (Stops) Why not? it's all just sitting here.

Kurama: Did you already forget? We're only here for the lamp. Let's keep moving.

(Hiei follows Kurama, though he's still disappointed. A magic carpet follows behind and startles Hiei.)

Hiei: Kurama!

Kurama: What? (Sees the carpet) A magic carpet.

Carpet: (shys away)

Kurama: Hey, come on. We're not gonna hurt you. Maybe you can help us. We're trying to find this lamp.

(Carpet leads the two into a room where the lamp sits on a tall pillar)

Kurama: Rose Whip! (Launches whip up to the top of the pillar. He looks at Hiei.) Wait here.

(Hiei does as he is told but spies the biggest gem he has ever seen and lets loose a greedy grin.)

Kurama: (Climbs the whip and reaches the top) This is it. (Grabs lamp) This is what he came all the way down here to...(Notices Hiei is about to swipe the gem) Hiei, NO!

Hiei: (Grabs the gem.)

Cave: Infidels! You have touched the forbidden treasure! Now you will never again see the light of day!

(The cave starts to fall apart.)

Kurama: Time to go. Let's move!

(Make their way to the front of the cave. Carpet gets hit by a large rock and falls while Kurama and Hiei hit what was once the steps and cling for dear life.)

Kurama: (to Younger Toguro) Give me your hand!

Younger Toguro: Throw me the lamp!

Hiei: For Allah's sake, we can't hold on. Give him your hand!

Younger Toguro: First give me the lamp.

Kurama: (Hands Toguro the lamp)

Younger Toguro: (Smiles) Good. Now for your reward. (Pulls out a sword) Your eternal reward.

Hiei: (slices at Toguro's arm with his sword)

(Kurama and Hiei fall all the way back into the cave and Carpet breaks their fall)

(Both Toguros stare at what was once the Cave of Wonders)

Younger Toguro: (Laughs) It's mine. It's all mine. (Reaches into his cloak) It's...where is it? No? NNNNOOOO!


	6. A Friend Like Me

Chapter 6: A Friend Like Me

(Inside a destroyed Cave of Wonders, Kurama and Hiei are unconscious until Carpet awakens Hiei)

Hiei: (Groans) Damn it! Well this was a fine way to spend the day, eh Kurama? Kurama? (Sees Kurama is still out like a light) Great.

Kurama: (Starts to stir) My...head. We're trapped. That two-faced son of a jackel!

Hiei: More like son of a bitch.

Kurama: You know what I mean. Oh well, whoever he was, he's long gone with that lamp.

Hiei: Not necessarily. (pulls out the lamp from beneath his cloak)

Kurama: You sneaky little thief.

Hiei: Flattery'll get you nowhere.

Kurama: It just looks like a beat up worthless piece of junk. Looks like there's something written on here but it's hard to make out. (rubs lamp)

(Lamp sparks and shakes and something emerges from within.)

Jin: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Oy! Ten thousand years will give one big crick in the neck. One second boyoh. (Spins his head around in a circle) Boy is it good bein out of there.(Looks at Kurama) You smoke? Mind if I do? (turns into a cloud of smoke and laughs) Sorry there. Hope I didn't singe your outfit. Hm? You're a wee bit smaller than me last master. Either that or I'm gettin bigger. Look at the side. Do I look different to you?

Kurama: Wait. I'm your master?

Jin: That's right. He can be taught. I'm the all powerful genie of the lamp. Though me friends call me Jin. And I'm here to fullfill your deepest wishes.

Kurama: Woah, woah, woah. Wishes?

Jin: Three wishes to be precise. And no more.

Kurama: Now I know I'm dreaming.

Jin: Master, I don't think you realize what you've got here. So why don't you just ruminate whilst I illuminate the possibilities. (Singing) Well Alibaba had them Forty Thieves, Sheherazadi had a thousand tales. But master you in luck cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic; never fails. You got some power in your corner, now. Some heavy ammunition in your camp. You got some punch, pizazz, yahoo and how. See all you gotta do is rub that lamp. And I'll say, "Mr. Kurama, sir, what will your pleasure be? Let me take your order, jot it down. You ain't never had a friend like me" Ho ho ho. Life is your restaurant and I'm your matre'd. Come on and whisper what it is you want. You ain't never had a friend like me.

Yes sir(splits into four people), we pride ourselves on service. You're the boss, the king, the shaw. Say what you wish. It's yours. True dish. How 'bout a little more Baglavah. Have some of column A. Try all of column B. I'm in the mood to help you dude. You ain't never had a friend like me.

So don't just sit there slack jaw, boogie-eyed. I'm here to answer all your midnight prayers. You got me bone fide, certified. You got a genie for your charge d' faires. I got a powerful urge to help you out. So what you wish I really wanna know. You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt. So all you gotta do is rub like so and Ho. Mister Kurama sir, have a wish or two or three. I'm on the job, you big nay bob. You ain't never had a friend like me.

(Kurama stands stunned. Carpet applaudes. Hiei scowls(duh))

Jin: So what'll it be master?

Kurama: I don't know. Looks can be decieving. What do you think Hiei?

Hiei: I'll be he can't even get us out of this stupid cave.

Jin: Excuse me? Are you looking at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here? And now all of a sudden you're walking out on me? I don't think so. Not right now. You're getting your wishes, so SIT DOWN!

(Kurama and Hiei sit down on the carpet.)

Jin: In case of emergencies, exits are located, well anywhere. Keep your hands and arms inside the carpet, cause we're outta here!

(All of the friends blast through the roof and into the starry night.)

To Be Continued...


End file.
